Most readers of DVM Newsmagazine recognize that laughter is good medicine. In contrast to many other types of medicine, it does not require a doctor's prescription,
and there is little danger of overdose. Best of all, the price is right. Laughter is such good medicine that even if we take
it in such small doses as smiling or cheerfulness of disposition, we will benefit from it.
When you're smilin': Taking a break for a bit of humor can brighten everyone's day.
Thank you for your cards and letters encouraging a third installment concerning this topic. This column contains more humorous
stories, the intent of which is to make you laugh. Especially during these difficult economic times, we mustn't take ourselves
too seriously. If this column causes you to smile, please pass it on to a colleague or member of the veterinary healthcare
team in your clinic or hospital. And please consider brightening my day by e-mailing one of your favorite jokes or humorous
A door-to-door vacuum-cleaner salesman managed to bully his way into an elderly woman's home in the backwoods of Minnesota.
"This machine is the best ever!" he exclaimed, while pouring a bag of dirt over the carpet.
The woman responded that she was really worried it may not all come up, so the salesman said, "If this machine doesn't
remove all the dirt completely, I'll lick it off myself."
"Let me get you some ketchup," she said, turning toward the kitchen.
"That's no problem, ma'am. This beauty can suck up ketchup in a blink!" the salesman crowed proudly.
"Oh, it's not to vacuum, it's to help you. We're not connected to electricity yet."
In the bathroom, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side by side using the urinal. The accountant finished,
zipped up and started to scrub his hands and arms up to his elbows. He used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned
to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Pennsylvania, and they taught us to be sanitary."
The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated
from Cornell, and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."
The cowboy zipped up, and as he was walking out the door, he said, "I graduated from Texas A&M, and they taught us not
to pee on our hands."
A new business was opening, and one of the owner's friends sent him flowers for the occasion. The bouquet arrived at the new
business site, but the card read, "Rest in peace."
The owner was a bit dismayed and called the florist to complain. After he told the florist about the obvious mistake and how
disappointed he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this:
Somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations on your new location!'"
A federal office worker finds a lamp in an old file drawer. He examines it and rubs off some grime, and a genie pops out.
For his first of three traditional wishes, he wants to be on a beautiful deserted island. Poof! There he is.
Next, of course, he wants gorgeous babes. Poof! There they are.