The clinical investigation team comprising our Nephrology/Urology Center meets daily to discuss progress, address problems
and make plans.
Before we start the day, we take turns sharing words of wisdom. One of my favorite topics is, "Laughter Heals."
I have found that laughter is good medicine. Unlike other medicines, it does not require a prescription and there is no danger
of overdose. Best of all, the price is right; it's cost-effective. Laughter is such good medicine that even in small doses,
such as smiling or holding a cheerful disposition, we benefit.
I hope readers of this month's Diagnote find humor in the following jokes, puns and stories. If so, please, pass them on to
a colleague or member of the veterinary health-care team in your clinic or hospital. And you can brighten my day e-mailing
me one of your favorite jokes or humorous stories.
"Incontinence hot line...Can you hold please?"
If H2O is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? K9P.
Why do firemen have Dalmatians? To help them find the hydrants buried in the snow.
Some days you're the dog, and some days you're the hydrant.
Did you hear that FED-EX and UPS are forming a new group to rapidly ship stones to the Minnesota Urolith Center? The new name
Say lettuce and spell cup. Lettuce C-U-P.
What do Minnesotans get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids, of course.
A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of draft beer. He sips it and sets it down. A monkey swings across the bar and for
no apparent reason urinates in the glass. Irritated, the man asks the bartender, "Who owns this monkey?" The bartender points
to the piano player. The man then walks over to the piano player and says, "Do you know your Monkey urinated in my beer?"
The pianist replies, "No, but if you hum the melody, I will try to play it."
A pig walked into a bar, ordered 15 beers and drank them all. The bartender asked, "Would you like to know where the lavatory
is?" "No thanks," said the porcine." I'm the little pig that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home."
Two congregation elders were talking about the growing trend of immorality in the community. One of them says, "I didn't
sleep with my wife before we were married. How about you?" The other responds, "I don't know. What is her maiden name?"
How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb? None. You don't need it out today, but if it continues to give you
trouble in the future, you should consider having it removed.
My uncle once urinated in a wheat field and was arrested for going against the grain.
Two guys are captured by cannibals. After they are stripped of their clothes, they are thrown into a big pot of water. The
pot is suspended over a huge fire, and the water gets hotter and hotter. Suddenly, one guy begins to laugh almost uncontrollably.
The other asks, "What's so funny?" His colleague answers "Wait till they find out that I just urinated in their soup."
Mahatma Gandhi, as you may know, walked barefoot most of the time. As a result, deep calluses developed on his feet. He also
ate very little, which made him rather frail. In addition, because of his unusual diet, he had bad breath. This caused him
to become what? A super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!