I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. At least that's what my friend, Arnie, says. If your practice suffered greatly from the February doldrums and you had nothing better to do with your time than to read my column, then you may recall what he said about me last month.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. He was the greatest practical joker that ever lived. With just a few pieces of wire and a homemade battery, he has managed to cause more confusion than even the most sophisticated of computer viruses. I am referring, of course, to that madcap funster, Alexander Graham Bell.